Thursday, September 15, 2011

Purdue vs. WWF

I spend more time with my teammates than anyone else on this planet. We are a tight team and we've gotten to know each other pretty well over the past few years. These guys are some of my best friends on this Earth, and some of them have striking resemblances to WWF/WWE wrestlers.  

 Adam Brockman - "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
The Adam Brockman/Hacksaw Jim Duggan comparison is a no-brainer. Not only do they look alike, they both have an insatiable love for the Red, White and Blue. Both men are known for their total lack of brains and "hit now, concussion later" attitude on their respective playing field/ring.

Carson Wiggs - Bret "The Hitman" Hart
"The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be." Carson and The Hitman are both fierce competitors and fiercely good looking, which makes for a devastating attack when kicking butt. The Hitman was also known as "The Excellence of Execution" and I have never met anybody who is as technically sound as Carson. Match made in Heaven.

Logan Link - Sting
Hard hitting, exciting to watch, huge muscles, face paint. What else do you want?

 James "Bruce" Shepherd - "Macho Man" Randy Savage
It has always been said that "The Bruce comes out at night!" Not only does Shep dress up as Macho Man, his play on the field emulates that of a young Macho Man; devastating moves and exquisite, colorful showmanship. 

 Kevin "Booty" Ballinger - Hulk Hogan
I am comparing myself to The Hulkster for two reasons: 1. his intro song, 2. it's my blog and I wanted to. I would say I am a mixture of young Hulk and NWO Hulk because I love America and I hang out with Dennis Rodman.

Chris "Killer" Carlino - Jake "The Snake" Roberts
Chris Carlino is hands down the baddest man on the field every time he's in. I would highly recommend watching only Chris on every special teams play we have; he's not near the tackle on return teams because he is way too busy embarrassing someone else on the other team in front of the poor kid's friends and family 30 yards down field. Whats that you say? It's just special teams? Tell that to Greg Jones, who Chris pancaked. Twice. Jake "The Snake"  and Chris both have exquisite mustaches, pet snakes, and devastating finishing moves (the DDT and the pancake respectively).

 DeVarro "The General" Greaves - The Rock
 The Rock is widely known as one of the best smack talkers to ever grace the ring, The General is one of the best smack talkers to ever put on the Old Gold and Black. The General would talk smack to King Kong and never back down. He makes me want to rip someone's face off; which I would do if I played something other than field goal snapper. And we didn't wear face masks. And I had the ability.

  Nick Mondek - Kane

Two massive men who's only wish is to rip your heart out and feed it to you when they perform. Once these guys get their hands on you it is game over. The only difference I see is I could beat up Nick.
 Dennis Kelly - The Undertaker

 If you can't see and feel the resemblance from this picture than there is something wrong with you. Dennis Kelly's favorite wrestler is The Undertaker and The Undertaker's favorite football player is Dennis Kelly. Many say The Undertaker is the greatest of all time, Dennis won the team MVP award last year; coincidence? I think not.

Zack Heiniger, Crosby Wright, Brad "The Big Pizza" Niemeier - The Nasty Boys

Zero regard for authority. Lock up your daughters. Six (including manager, Jimmy Hart) men who only care about one thing, nothing. 
*This comparison couldn't be farther from reality.

 Kawann "KK" Short - Kurt Angle

Two freak athletes. KK can bench 500 lbs, squat another 700, run a 4.5 40 AND 360 dunk. Kurt Angle won a gold medal in the 1996 Olympics. These men strike fear in their opponents by their resume and do nothing but back it up when they play.

Honorable Mention

Dan Dierking - Scott "Big Pappa Pump" Steiner
Dan graduated, but the comparison is way too good to pass up.

Coach Hope - Vince McMahon
 Toughest CEO's on the planet.

Joe Holland - Sheamus O'Shaunessy

1 comment:

  1. That is flippin' awesome.
    Go Boilers!

    Why does Dierking have a monkey on his shoulder?