Sunday, June 26, 2011

i got skillzzz

This weekend I was at a family function and my cousin Jason said something along the lines of "Kevin, why is it every time I read something that you write you make a comment about how unskilled you are? You are the long snapper for Purdue University, you've gotta have some skill."
I was quickly humbled that he, or anybody, would take the time to read my stuff but I instantly responded with something like "Woah woah woah, buddy. First off, I'm A long snapper at Purdue, get it right. Secondly, I have many useful skills, just not very many athletically."
During my drive back to Purdue from my home town of Bluffton, Indiana I started to think about all of my skills, and they are as follows:
  • eating skills
  • facebook creeping skills
  • chop stick skills
  • hat wearing skills
  • sandwich making skills
  • sword fighting skills
  • long hair skills
  • afraid to talk to girls skills
  • mustache skills
  • American pride skills
  • immature skills
  • ability to read for long periods of time in the bathroom skills
  • fanny pack skills
  • ability to avoid doing the dishes skills
  • getting parking ticket skills
  • memorizing songs skills
  • Jedi skills, and various other Star Wars skills (pod racing, droid building, etc.)
  • driving safely skills
  • dancing skills
  • being awkward skills
  • comic book reading skills
  • beer drinking skills
  • hand-eye coordination skills
  • sarcasm skills
As you can see, like most long snappers, I got skillz. We never get a fair chance to display them for the public because we aren't "play makers" per se. Next time you see long snapper (whether you recently saw him snap a football or not) lie to him and tell him you saw his great snap, tell him he's got skillzzz. Guaranteed to make his day.

69 (haha) days until kick off, BEAT MIDDLE!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Long Snapper's Guide To Swag

It is important for Long Snappers to find their niche; whether it be on the field domination or off the field antics, you’ve got to have something else going for you other than .7 seconds it takes to Long Snap. Lets be honest, if you are a Long Snapper, you are probably also a walk-on. For those of you who do not know, a walk on is somebody who was super average in high school and tried out for the football team on a whim (the best players have their choice to go wherever they please, the next tier of players usually go somewhere small and often find great success at their respective schools, a walk-on is someone who is usually only good at one thing (Long Snapping) and probably got a few letters from schools but nothing hand written and nothing to tweet about ((unless, of course, you are a Rubio student. And to you I say, I know you are probably getting your college paid for and I know you are only 17, but at this moment, I am better than you at Long Snapping. Maybe not in a couple of years or even months, but right now, I am.)) "Preferred" walk-ons also exist, but they are usually good at sports. There is no shame in being a walk-on, many a great men are former walk-ons: John Finch, Kris StaatsNick Hardwick (I think) and I’m about 90% sure Larry Bird probably hung out with walk-ons in college (worth it).
One of the best ways to set yourself apart on the team and make yourself noticed by both teammates and fans alike is swag. More specifically, game-day swag. Walk-ons have to learn how to capitalize on opportunities for free ANYTHING. Wrist bands are free on game day. Wear them. Wear as many as you can fit on your skinny little arms. 1. They look awesome, 2. You can take them off and give them to little kids after the game and for a second you will feel like a real athlete. Your cleats should look like they have been warn, but not too dirty, need to keep them bad boys fresh. Snappers usually don’t wear gloves, but if you are lucky enough to get a pair or find a pair in the lost and found, wear those and say it is to keep your hands warm. If it is muddy out, smear a little mud on your pants or jersey just to make it look like you at least warmed up (make sure you rub it around and don’t just have a mud hand-print, that’s a dead give away). If it is cold, I recommend wearing a hand warmer; effective in both the looks and functionality departments (also, great place to hide stuff, such as candy. My friends in I would go through bags of candy on the sideline freshman year of high school). Everything else is regulated by the NCAA, so there is not much else you can change.
Only 88 short days until Middle Tennessee State. Stay Classy.