I have sworn I would never lie too you many times but I must admit, last week I straight up lied to your face. Confidence is not a long snapper's #1 weapon; dancing is. Dancing can take a snapper to the next level on and off the field.
Any long snapper dreams of somehow falling on a loose ball in the end zone and for once scoring themselves instead of throwing a ball so the kicker can take all the glory. Having been said, any snapper who is worth anything should already have a pre-planned touchdown dance. Mine is way too awesome to even show before it actually happens, mostly because it will get me kicked out of the game and bring shame upon my family.
This week, I have dedicated my post to dancing and have chosen to show a few options to those struggling long snappers/people in the club who have the desire to be great but need that little nudge to get their ish together and start dancing.
I will be rating the following dances on a scale of 1-46. A score of 1 means you should probably just stop because if I see you doing this move in public I will push you down and call you names in front of your family and friends. A lucid score of 46 means you clearly know what you are doing and I would like to spend the rest of my life in your dancing presence.
Here we have receiver TJ Barbarette displaying his finest Douglas dance. He is pretty fluent in the language of dancing and if you do this dance correctly in dancing situations, you can quickly gain the mad respect you deserve from your peers. However, if you mess up everybody will laugh at you and you will spend the rest of eternity wishing you hadn't tried to Dougie. I give TJ a 39 for this performance.
Next up on our list of dancers is Chuck Torwudzo breaking it down doing a move I've never seen but that doesn't mean I don't like it. He is innovative with the wind-up camera move, not seen enough if you ask me. Chuck T gets a solid 35.
Here we have Akeem "The Dream" Shavers and Brandon Cottom kicking it old school. Literally the dance move they performed involved kicking. Although they missed on the timing, the colabo move is rarely seen in this day in age of individuals trying to get paper and such. The pair scored a 37.
Kawaan Short aka The Beast aka The Freak aka KK is getting down to a little move we in the biz call, the chicken head. Shout out to KK for the creative name/willingness to stick himself out there and dance for all you beautiful people. KK scores a 38 for his chicken dance.
Here we have a poser who thinks he can dance but he really just wanted to be like everybody else and look cool. I think he is trying to "Drop It Low." Instead he ends up dropping it stupid and looks like a fool because this is his best dance move. 6.
Ahh yes, The Jerk. Carson Wiggs and Justin Sinz proudly display their best Jerk and simultaneously break the hearts of many, many women. These two fine young men know how to get down on the dance floor and for that I commend them. Simple yet effective; 40 for the Jerk.
White boys will Bernie to anything. 46's all around for this display of sexual excellence!
I apologize for the crappy video quality. Kind of. Working on a walk on's budget here and I'm not tech savvy enough to figure it out. I love you.
1 day until Illinois
65 days until Christmas
ps. if you want to laugh you should probably watch THIS VIDEO and the rest of their videos because Stone Cold said so.