i got skillzzz

This weekend I was at a family function and my cousin Jason said something along the lines of "Kevin, why is it every time I read something that you write you make a comment about how unskilled you are? You are the long snapper for Purdue University, you've gotta have some skill."
I was quickly humbled that he, or anybody, would take the time to read my stuff but I instantly responded with something like "Woah woah woah, buddy. First off, I'm A long snapper at Purdue, get it right. Secondly, I have many useful skills, just not very many athletically."
During my drive back to Purdue from my home town of Bluffton, Indiana I started to think about all of my skills, and they are as follows:

• eating skills
• facebook creeping skills
• chop stick skills
• hat wearing skills
• sandwich making skills
• sword fighting skills
• long hair skills
• afraid to talk to girls skills
• mustache skills
• American pride skills
• immature skills
• ability to read for long periods of time in the bathroom skills
• fanny pack skills
• ability to avoid doing the dishes skills
• getting parking ticket skills
• memorizing songs skills
• Jedi skills, and various other Star Wars skills (pod racing, droid building, etc.)
• driving safely skills
• dancing skills
• being awkward skills
• comic book reading skills
• beer drinking skills
• hand-eye coordination skills
• sarcasm skills

As you can see, like most long snappers, I got skillz. We never get a fair chance to display them for the public because we aren't "play makers" per se. Next time you see long snapper (whether you recently saw him snap a football or not) lie to him and tell him you saw his great snap, tell him he's got skillzzz. Guaranteed to make his day.

69 (haha) days until kick off, BEAT MIDDLE!